So remember how I Tweeted that MOA is so not worth the traffic? (it still is. Man the people *grumbles*) That was until I saw this dude who looks like Mir. Yes, Mir from MBLAQ. YES I'M SERIOUS. So I'm like whut! Then my mind did a total 180 and suddenly MOA was worth the hour we were stuck in traffic on the way there.
Spotted him while we were eating in Sakura. You know why? CAUSE HE HAD GORGEOUS HAIR. IKR. The first thing I notice about anybody is their hair, for some reason. If you have good hair, then whee you're on my good side :)))))))) Plus he was hecka tall, like a good head taller than I was. So anyway he had reaaally good hair and his side profile reminded me of Mir. So I was like, aw boo we won't be seeing him anytime soon.
So we finished eating, and I decided to go check out Fully Booked, to look for a good Korean dictionary (SPOTTED ONE TOO :3) and to look for that Twenties Girl book. SO IMAGINE MY COMPLETE AND UTTER SURPRISE WHEN MIR-LOOKALIKE WAS THERE. I was like asdwetfsf YES. :)))))) He was looking at the biographies section. NO I AM NOT A STALKER OKAY, I JUST HAPPENED TO SPOT THAT.
I head over to the languages section because that's why I went there in the first place. *cough* sneaked in a couple of glances every now and then but after a few minutes he disappeared. So again I go AWWWW TOO BAD NINA THAT'S THE LAST YOU'LL GET TODAY GIRL. Then I go back to looking at the language books and THEN OHMYGOD SUN HE'S ALSO THERE :))))))) I was like, WTF IS THIS FOREAL SDFAEWTFSAGAS :))) I turned the other way because I already spotted my Kr dictionary, and I had decided to look for the Twenties Girl book. COULDN'T FIND IT, so I left :)))))) I still couldn't get over Mir-lookalike being in Fully Booked at this point so I was like NINA OKAY THAT'S REEEAAAALLY THE LAST YOU'LL GET EVAR.
We head over to National Bookstore cause my grandmum wanted to buy Daily Bread, so we do. I was looking for where it was, and when I spotted it, I led my grandma to the aisle where the religious stuff was. We were looking for it, but alas, to no avail, so I said, mummy I'll go look around while we wait for mum, so she says okay go wander around.
AND THEN WTF MIR-LOOKALIKE IS THERE TOO. I SWEAR. I was like, WTF ARE YOU SEEEERIOUS DUUUUDE. I almost bumped into him cause I didn't see him coming into the aisle. I wanted to burst out laughing I swear, because I couldn't believe the coincidence of it all.
Anyway, that was the most adventure I had ALL vacation. MIR-LOOKALIKE, THANK YOU FOR THE EPIC DAY :))))))
Loading my phone with TVXQ shiznit nao :))))))) Having a phone that reads Korean is certainly awesome :3
April and Black Coffee will now forever live in my memory as the sweetest thing ever.
From now on, I vow to drink black coffee once a month, just for the heck of it. I think I love black coffee now, too. Can words do that to you? Apparently to me it can.
APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE. FOREVER. *sobs* Even though I'm still steaming over the whole WHY-DID-JAEWON-HAVE-TO-DIE thing, I realized the things they had to go through was what made me love it in the first place, and one event (however tragic. Heartbreaking. TEARJERKING. However sad it may be) cannot undo that. DO YOU HEAR ME BLACK COFFEE? DAMN YOOOUUUUU.
I want to cry, but I can't. I don't know why. Instead of just letting it all out, I keep it in. I WANT TO CRY, DAMMIT.
APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE, dammit. WHY JAEWON WHY. WHY WHY WHY. WHY APRIL WHY. AGGGGGGGGHHHH. Putangina this is why I hate sappy romantic stories; dramedies with really hot leads AND THEN BOOM. When everything goes well, ONE OF THEM DIES. THEY DIE. Who the fck does that, FOREAL. WHY WOULD YOU RUIN SOMETHING PERFECTLY GOOD?
See? My habit of finding out the ending first of any story is justfied; it saves me any attachment to the characters, and to the story. BUT THIS. IT JUST SUCKED ME IN. when I DID decide to go and look at the end, I was blind-sided. I was shocked. I actually felt like one of those people who cried over dramas, who felt so strongly about the characters. I DID NOT WANT THAT. Do you wanna know something? The first time I listened to Insa by Jaejoong, I fell into a depression for the rest of the day. THE DAY. Can you believe that? I can't either but I did. My heart just felt so heavy that day.
I don't have the same reaction for movies; I don't know why. But with stories. Man they just get to me, it's so annoying.
UGH NOW I'LL STAY AWAKE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT JUST THINKING ABOUT APRIL AND BLACK COFFEE. But for what it's worth, it was really sweet. It was epic. It was a love story. AUGH CRAP I'M GETTING SAPPIER BY THE SECOND, KTHXBAI. *is not liking*
And Paris, Paris pleeeeaase come back soon. "No one said finding Paris would be easy; they only said it'd be worth it."
I GAVE UP SLEEP FOR YOU TWO. Dammit Black Coffee why leave April behind WHYYYY. WHY LEAVE ME SO BOTHERED I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP RIGHT WHYYYY. It should've been a happy ending T0T *sobs with inexistent tears*
Does not have much to say except that I am extremely pissed at SME.
For the sake of SuJu *mutters* THEY DIDN'T DO THAT WITH TVXQ. What the hell is this company going on about?! I really don't know what point they're trying to convey because from the looks of it.......... Augh. I hope you burn in hellllll SME. I HOPE YOU DO.
JUST FOR THAT, I SUPPORT HANKYUNG. Boy, we'll stand by you just like we stand by TVXQ. SUJU, FIGHTING. It will always be 13, and 13 only. In the same line of thought, 5 will always be 5. DON'T LET PEOPLE TELL YOU OTHERWISE.
sadfaetrwt Hocrap I've just rediscovered my infatuation with Chung Lim *_* If it's any consolation, Boojae, I've preordered five cds for you (ONE FOR EACH MEMBER, BECAUSE ILY LIKE THAT) but damn I was like, Chung Lim?
Cause I was browsing my net history when I saw that name and the only thing I could remember was the abs :)))))))))) So I took the liberty (AND MAN AM I GLAD I DID) of looking for his thread and imagine my complete surprise when I saw we had the same birthday :))))))
Nina: *looks at Chung Lim's profile* Nina: ahhh so Han pala siya..... *eyes drift over to birthday* *eyes widen* *cue epic fangirl scream* AHHHHHHHHHHGGGG. Tita: What??? Nina: PAREHAS KAMI NG BIRTHDAY WAHAHAHAHA! Tita: Akala ko kung ano........
It's a typical dialogue in our household. I scream about sth then they ask what and when they don't get why I screamed they'd give me that response.
BUT SRSLY :)))))))) I was so surprised.
Anyway here in Rizal for the rest of the vacay, since my mum didn't want to cook for anyone while she stayed at the condo since she still had work. Limited net, but thankfully Tattoo is fast enough for me :3
AM I GETTING TOO SOFT? Like wth I'm tearing up over stories now T0T
READ, THEN JUDGE ME :)))))
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked. “I can’t” “Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me. “No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I … Jin: What…don’t drag, just say.. Me: I love you. Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home. That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many… Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this… Again, he handed me a little doll. Me: What’s this? Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye. Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is? Jin: Today? Huh? I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…” Jin: You have something to say? Me: Tell me, tell me you love me… Jin: What?! Me: Tell me I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. “I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.” That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me… After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came? I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual… Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why… I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again! I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking. “I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll… Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~ With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. “Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. “Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying. That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls… “Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.
“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side. “I love you~” “I love you~” “I love you~” Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.
I was like "okay wth SHE'S TOO CLINGY and SERVES HER RIGHT, HE LEFT HER" at first but then when it came to the dolls.............. I just went "AWWWWWWWW SHEEEEEET WHY SO SWEET?" and then I became D: to :')
But I have to say I'd like to smack the dude up the head. SHY MY ARSE :)))) You should've just said so dsgertg NOW LOOK YOU'VE GONE AND MADE SOME STUPID LOVE STORY astwersafd :))))
BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE ONE WHEN I WATCH THIS VID :))))))) *insert Su OMGSUN engrish here*
BOOJAE, WTH =)))))) I feel sorry for him in a way since he looks so awkward BUT ICAN'T STOP LAUGHING =)))) Oh crap I remember the convo I had with Ken earlier, which I will not post because it's censored LIKE HECK =))))))) But one person said it all:
Does it not sadden you that Robert Pattinson, an ungroomed and oily male, has won the Male Breakthrough Award? Why has the female population of our world succumbed to such fathomage known as the 'Twilight Craze'? Are they such hopeless romantics that they sit in their rooms, sighing and wishing for the one thing they will never obtain?
What about the fine specimen of men on our very own planet? The neglection they must feel! What they must think of the stupidity; being compared to nothing but an apocryphal character! Oh, the horrors of teenage hormones, and not to forget, the thirst of perverse fantasizing of the gleaming, glittering, sparkling body of the refulgent but illusory, Edward Cullen.
This. This made me LOL so hard :)))))))
Fine specimen of men, HAHAHAHAHA. Major lulz right there XD
I think I did. In as little a timespan of two years, I think I grew up more than I did in my entire seventeen-year lifetime (so far).
The instant my feet touched that small space of a playground and started sliding down the slides with my blocmates, TVXQ's Balloons was the first thing that played in my mind. The song fit those moments perfectly (: We had nothing to worry about - no homeworks, no quizzes, no nothing. We were just laughing our heads off; we hadn't felt like that in a long time.
It was refreshing, and in a way, melancholic. College has been really hard, and I'm sure it's taken a toll on all of us, even though it isn't that apparent yet.
For some reason, I feel this Christmas is different from the others I've had. Something's just changed, and somehow I feel it's not for the better. But then again, I don't know if it might actually be a good one. Either way, something just isn't like it was before. I think I know, but I just don't want to say it outloud.
Yoochun said keep the faith. We don't need to be told twice ♥
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SU (: ILY and please be healthy always. And happy birthday twin Junho! Good luck in all your future endeavors as an actor (; God blessy you both on your special special dayyy ♥
Yahhhh. In a few days' time it'll be Christmas (: Su's birthday, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Currently I'm alone in the condo because my mum went to MoA XD (I LOVE MOA THE ULJJANG, HAHAHAHA)
So anyway. Laud me. I've had a 6am wake up time for the past week, no thanks to DS100 :))))))))) My eyes are now drooping but I refuse to close them, simply because I'm watching Art of Seduction (Joon, Cheondung, you kill me) and I'm irate over the fact that my (SORRY, OKAY) pirated dvd of You're Beautiful won't fricken play. RAWR.
HAHAHAHA ORUN EARLIER. As usual, we all went there in high spirits, laughing and joking about that kind of stuff, but in the end I ended up not looking. Again XD No regrets though; IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE (climate change awareness, mind you), AND I APPLAUD THOSE BRAVE ENOUGH TO HAVE TAKEN ON THAT CHALLENGE (:
Marian took videos, just in case anyone wants to know :))))) PEJI TOOK PICTURES. Cha tho, hid. BOO CHA BOO.
I LOVE SUICIDE NOTE. faertgsadg it's been ages since she's updated but geez I don't get tired of reading her stuff FOREAL.
JUNGWOO *________*
Plus I just have to say, that passing by NBI nowadays is like really unnerving. You see police (more than the usual) and scores of men with guns (M16 whut) hovering outside their gate. I would avoid it but it's the only way to the train station I ride.
dfaetgsa YES HAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES *dances around happily*
that even though 도끼 was the one that rapped for Lyn's New Celebration song, Thunder (aka Cheondung aka my kapatid HAHAHA INSIDE JOKE XD) is the one in the music video? I swear, it's like, why??? Is it because 도끼's so underground he won't even appear in the MV?
But in fairness to kapatid, he's gotten a lot of positive comments on YT :3 And okay fine even though I begrudgingly admit it, the only reason I watched the MV was because my dear brother is in it HAHAHAHAHA
Hello, my name is Nina and I like doing the daily crossword, Photoshopping and singing my heart out, although by no means am I good at any of the aforementioned activities.
Kpop is one of my favorite things and TVXQ is my fandom (: Jaejoong makes my heart go 두근 두근 like no one else can; altough I love Junsu, Yoochun, Changmin and Yunho just as much.
Talikodgenic, yes.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 / 11:53 PM ♥
So remember how I Tweeted that MOA is so not worth the traffic? (it still is. Man the people *grumbles*) That was until I saw this dude who looks like Mir. Yes, Mir from MBLAQ. YES I'M SERIOUS. So I'm like whut! Then my mind did a total 180 and suddenly MOA was worth the hour we were stuck in traffic on the way there.
Spotted him while we were eating in Sakura. You know why? CAUSE HE HAD GORGEOUS HAIR. IKR. The first thing I notice about anybody is their hair, for some reason. If you have good hair, then whee you're on my good side :)))))))) Plus he was hecka tall, like a good head taller than I was. So anyway he had reaaally good hair and his side profile reminded me of Mir. So I was like, aw boo we won't be seeing him anytime soon.
So we finished eating, and I decided to go check out Fully Booked, to look for a good Korean dictionary (SPOTTED ONE TOO :3) and to look for that Twenties Girl book. SO IMAGINE MY COMPLETE AND UTTER SURPRISE WHEN MIR-LOOKALIKE WAS THERE. I was like asdwetfsf YES. :)))))) He was looking at the biographies section. NO I AM NOT A STALKER OKAY, I JUST HAPPENED TO SPOT THAT.
I head over to the languages section because that's why I went there in the first place. *cough* sneaked in a couple of glances every now and then but after a few minutes he disappeared. So again I go AWWWW TOO BAD NINA THAT'S THE LAST YOU'LL GET TODAY GIRL. Then I go back to looking at the language books and THEN OHMYGOD SUN HE'S ALSO THERE :))))))) I was like, WTF IS THIS FOREAL SDFAEWTFSAGAS :))) I turned the other way because I already spotted my Kr dictionary, and I had decided to look for the Twenties Girl book. COULDN'T FIND IT, so I left :)))))) I still couldn't get over Mir-lookalike being in Fully Booked at this point so I was like NINA OKAY THAT'S REEEAAAALLY THE LAST YOU'LL GET EVAR.
We head over to National Bookstore cause my grandmum wanted to buy Daily Bread, so we do. I was looking for where it was, and when I spotted it, I led my grandma to the aisle where the religious stuff was. We were looking for it, but alas, to no avail, so I said, mummy I'll go look around while we wait for mum, so she says okay go wander around.
AND THEN WTF MIR-LOOKALIKE IS THERE TOO. I SWEAR. I was like, WTF ARE YOU SEEEERIOUS DUUUUDE. I almost bumped into him cause I didn't see him coming into the aisle. I wanted to burst out laughing I swear, because I couldn't believe the coincidence of it all.
Anyway, that was the most adventure I had ALL vacation. MIR-LOOKALIKE, THANK YOU FOR THE EPIC DAY :))))))
Loading my phone with TVXQ shiznit nao :))))))) Having a phone that reads Korean is certainly awesome :3
April and Black Coffee will now forever live in my memory as the sweetest thing ever.
From now on, I vow to drink black coffee once a month, just for the heck of it. I think I love black coffee now, too. Can words do that to you? Apparently to me it can.
APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE. FOREVER. *sobs* Even though I'm still steaming over the whole WHY-DID-JAEWON-HAVE-TO-DIE thing, I realized the things they had to go through was what made me love it in the first place, and one event (however tragic. Heartbreaking. TEARJERKING. However sad it may be) cannot undo that. DO YOU HEAR ME BLACK COFFEE? DAMN YOOOUUUUU.
I'll tell you something
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 / 1:27 AM ♥
I want to cry, but I can't. I don't know why. Instead of just letting it all out, I keep it in. I WANT TO CRY, DAMMIT.
APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE, dammit. WHY JAEWON WHY. WHY WHY WHY. WHY APRIL WHY. AGGGGGGGGHHHH. Putangina this is why I hate sappy romantic stories; dramedies with really hot leads AND THEN BOOM. When everything goes well, ONE OF THEM DIES. THEY DIE. Who the fck does that, FOREAL. WHY WOULD YOU RUIN SOMETHING PERFECTLY GOOD?
See? My habit of finding out the ending first of any story is justfied; it saves me any attachment to the characters, and to the story. BUT THIS. IT JUST SUCKED ME IN. when I DID decide to go and look at the end, I was blind-sided. I was shocked. I actually felt like one of those people who cried over dramas, who felt so strongly about the characters. I DID NOT WANT THAT. Do you wanna know something? The first time I listened to Insa by Jaejoong, I fell into a depression for the rest of the day. THE DAY. Can you believe that? I can't either but I did. My heart just felt so heavy that day.
I don't have the same reaction for movies; I don't know why. But with stories. Man they just get to me, it's so annoying.
UGH NOW I'LL STAY AWAKE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT JUST THINKING ABOUT APRIL AND BLACK COFFEE. But for what it's worth, it was really sweet. It was epic. It was a love story. AUGH CRAP I'M GETTING SAPPIER BY THE SECOND, KTHXBAI. *is not liking*
And Paris, Paris pleeeeaase come back soon. "No one said finding Paris would be easy; they only said it'd be worth it."
I GAVE UP SLEEP FOR YOU TWO. Dammit Black Coffee why leave April behind WHYYYY. WHY LEAVE ME SO BOTHERED I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP RIGHT WHYYYY. It should've been a happy ending T0T *sobs with inexistent tears*
Does not have much to say except that I am extremely pissed at SME.
For the sake of SuJu *mutters* THEY DIDN'T DO THAT WITH TVXQ. What the hell is this company going on about?! I really don't know what point they're trying to convey because from the looks of it.......... Augh. I hope you burn in hellllll SME. I HOPE YOU DO.
JUST FOR THAT, I SUPPORT HANKYUNG. Boy, we'll stand by you just like we stand by TVXQ. SUJU, FIGHTING. It will always be 13, and 13 only. In the same line of thought, 5 will always be 5. DON'T LET PEOPLE TELL YOU OTHERWISE.
sadfaetrwt Hocrap I've just rediscovered my infatuation with Chung Lim *_* If it's any consolation, Boojae, I've preordered five cds for you (ONE FOR EACH MEMBER, BECAUSE ILY LIKE THAT) but damn I was like, Chung Lim?
Cause I was browsing my net history when I saw that name and the only thing I could remember was the abs :)))))))))) So I took the liberty (AND MAN AM I GLAD I DID) of looking for his thread and imagine my complete surprise when I saw we had the same birthday :))))))
Nina: *looks at Chung Lim's profile* Nina: ahhh so Han pala siya..... *eyes drift over to birthday* *eyes widen* *cue epic fangirl scream* AHHHHHHHHHHGGGG. Tita: What??? Nina: PAREHAS KAMI NG BIRTHDAY WAHAHAHAHA! Tita: Akala ko kung ano........
It's a typical dialogue in our household. I scream about sth then they ask what and when they don't get why I screamed they'd give me that response.
BUT SRSLY :)))))))) I was so surprised.
Anyway here in Rizal for the rest of the vacay, since my mum didn't want to cook for anyone while she stayed at the condo since she still had work. Limited net, but thankfully Tattoo is fast enough for me :3
AM I GETTING TOO SOFT? Like wth I'm tearing up over stories now T0T
READ, THEN JUDGE ME :)))))
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked. “I can’t” “Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me. “No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I … Jin: What…don’t drag, just say.. Me: I love you. Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home. That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many… Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this… Again, he handed me a little doll. Me: What’s this? Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye. Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is? Jin: Today? Huh? I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…” Jin: You have something to say? Me: Tell me, tell me you love me… Jin: What?! Me: Tell me I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. “I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.” That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me… After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came? I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual… Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why… I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again! I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking. “I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll… Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~ With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. “Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. “Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying. That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls… “Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.
“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side. “I love you~” “I love you~” “I love you~” Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.
I was like "okay wth SHE'S TOO CLINGY and SERVES HER RIGHT, HE LEFT HER" at first but then when it came to the dolls.............. I just went "AWWWWWWWW SHEEEEEET WHY SO SWEET?" and then I became D: to :')
But I have to say I'd like to smack the dude up the head. SHY MY ARSE :)))) You should've just said so dsgertg NOW LOOK YOU'VE GONE AND MADE SOME STUPID LOVE STORY astwersafd :))))
I'm no byeontae, mind you.
Thursday, December 17, 2009 / 11:42 PM ♥
BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE ONE WHEN I WATCH THIS VID :))))))) *insert Su OMGSUN engrish here*
BOOJAE, WTH =)))))) I feel sorry for him in a way since he looks so awkward BUT ICAN'T STOP LAUGHING =)))) Oh crap I remember the convo I had with Ken earlier, which I will not post because it's censored LIKE HECK =))))))) But one person said it all:
Does it not sadden you that Robert Pattinson, an ungroomed and oily male, has won the Male Breakthrough Award? Why has the female population of our world succumbed to such fathomage known as the 'Twilight Craze'? Are they such hopeless romantics that they sit in their rooms, sighing and wishing for the one thing they will never obtain?
What about the fine specimen of men on our very own planet? The neglection they must feel! What they must think of the stupidity; being compared to nothing but an apocryphal character! Oh, the horrors of teenage hormones, and not to forget, the thirst of perverse fantasizing of the gleaming, glittering, sparkling body of the refulgent but illusory, Edward Cullen.
This. This made me LOL so hard :)))))))
Fine specimen of men, HAHAHAHAHA. Major lulz right there XD
내 마음에도 아름다운 기억들이 생각나
Monday, December 14, 2009 / 10:50 PM ♥
내가 너무 커버렸을 때~
I think I did. In as little a timespan of two years, I think I grew up more than I did in my entire seventeen-year lifetime (so far).
The instant my feet touched that small space of a playground and started sliding down the slides with my blocmates, TVXQ's Balloons was the first thing that played in my mind. The song fit those moments perfectly (: We had nothing to worry about - no homeworks, no quizzes, no nothing. We were just laughing our heads off; we hadn't felt like that in a long time.
It was refreshing, and in a way, melancholic. College has been really hard, and I'm sure it's taken a toll on all of us, even though it isn't that apparent yet.
For some reason, I feel this Christmas is different from the others I've had. Something's just changed, and somehow I feel it's not for the better. But then again, I don't know if it might actually be a good one. Either way, something just isn't like it was before. I think I know, but I just don't want to say it outloud.
Yoochun said keep the faith. We don't need to be told twice ♥
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SU (: ILY and please be healthy always. And happy birthday twin Junho! Good luck in all your future endeavors as an actor (; God blessy you both on your special special dayyy ♥
Christmastime~!
Friday, December 11, 2009 / 10:54 PM ♥
Yahhhh. In a few days' time it'll be Christmas (: Su's birthday, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Currently I'm alone in the condo because my mum went to MoA XD (I LOVE MOA THE ULJJANG, HAHAHAHA)
So anyway. Laud me. I've had a 6am wake up time for the past week, no thanks to DS100 :))))))))) My eyes are now drooping but I refuse to close them, simply because I'm watching Art of Seduction (Joon, Cheondung, you kill me) and I'm irate over the fact that my (SORRY, OKAY) pirated dvd of You're Beautiful won't fricken play. RAWR.
HAHAHAHA ORUN EARLIER. As usual, we all went there in high spirits, laughing and joking about that kind of stuff, but in the end I ended up not looking. Again XD No regrets though; IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE (climate change awareness, mind you), AND I APPLAUD THOSE BRAVE ENOUGH TO HAVE TAKEN ON THAT CHALLENGE (:
Marian took videos, just in case anyone wants to know :))))) PEJI TOOK PICTURES. Cha tho, hid. BOO CHA BOO.
ohmygeeeeeeez
Monday, December 7, 2009 / 9:25 PM ♥
I LOVE SUICIDE NOTE. faertgsadg it's been ages since she's updated but geez I don't get tired of reading her stuff FOREAL.
JUNGWOO *________*
Plus I just have to say, that passing by NBI nowadays is like really unnerving. You see police (more than the usual) and scores of men with guns (M16 whut) hovering outside their gate. I would avoid it but it's the only way to the train station I ride.
dfaetgsa YES HAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES *dances around happily*
Okay so why is it
Sunday, December 6, 2009 / 8:19 PM ♥
that even though 도끼 was the one that rapped for Lyn's New Celebration song, Thunder (aka Cheondung aka my kapatid HAHAHA INSIDE JOKE XD) is the one in the music video? I swear, it's like, why??? Is it because 도끼's so underground he won't even appear in the MV?
But in fairness to kapatid, he's gotten a lot of positive comments on YT :3 And okay fine even though I begrudgingly admit it, the only reason I watched the MV was because my dear brother is in it HAHAHAHAHA
